Ego is a term we often hear as BAD, but its presence in our daily lives can be sensed. While we all have an ego, the challenge is not in its existence but in recognizing how it operates and how it affects our thoughts, actions, and relationships. When we become more aware of the triggers of our ego, we gain greater control over it.
What Is the Ego?
Ego is our sense of self our identity, our “I” shaped by experiences, desires, and perceptions. It can be a useful tool for navigating the world, as it helps us distinguish ourselves from others and build confidence. However, when the ego becomes overinflated or reactive, it can cloud our judgment, harm our relationships, and prevent us from growing emotionally and spiritually.
Did you know, the EGO is often linked to pride, defensiveness, superiority, or insecurity. It seeks validation, approval, and acknowledgment. Identifying what triggers your ego is the first step in understanding how it influences your behavior.
But, what can be the Common Triggers of Ego?
- The Criticism
One of the most direct ways the ego reacts is when it perceives criticism or judgment. Whether from others or within yourself, criticism feels like an attack on your identity. When you feel criticized, your ego may immediately rise to defend itself, either by becoming defensive, rationalizing your actions, or even retaliating. How to Identify: Pay attention to moments when you feel hurt, defensive, or irritated after receiving feedback. Ask yourself why this comment triggered such a strong reaction. Is it about your self-image or a fear of not being good enough? - The Comparision
The ego thrives on comparison. Whether comparing your achievements, appearance, or lifestyle to others, the ego constantly seeks to measure its worth against someone else’s. If you find yourself feeling envious or resentful of others’ success, your ego may be in control. How to Identify: Notice when you begin to feel inadequate, competitive, or less-than in relation to others. This sense of “not enough” is often rooted in the ego’s need to establish superiority or inferiority. - The Rejection
The fear of rejection is another powerful ego trigger. Being excluded, ignored, or not acknowledged can evoke feelings of loneliness, hurt, and vulnerability. The ego interprets rejection as a blow to its sense of self-worth and can respond by withdrawing or becoming defensive. How to Identify: Reflect on moments when you felt left out or dismissed. Was your reaction disproportionately intense? Did you try to prove your value or seek approval in response to the exclusion? - The Accomplishment
While failure can trigger the ego, so can success. The ego can inflate in response to praise or recognition. When we achieve something significant, the ego often takes ownership, creating a sense of superiority or entitlement. This can lead to arrogance or a constant desire for more accolades. How to Identify: After achieving something, notice if you start feeling superior or if you have an urge to boast or prove your worth. Are you motivated by a genuine desire to help or by the need for external validation? - The Unmet Expectations
The ego often creates expectations about how things should be. When reality doesn’t match these expectations, frustration, disappointment, or anger can ensue. The ego wants things to go according to its plan, and when they don’t, it feels threatened. How to Identify: When things don’t go as planned, pay attention to the emotions that arise. Do you feel frustration or even rage? Are you blaming others for the outcome, or do you immediately start negotiating with reality? - The Vulnerability
The ego doesn’t like feeling vulnerable because vulnerability exposes the “self” to potential harm. When you’re in a situation that requires openness or emotional honesty, the ego may try to shield you by encouraging you to close off or mask your true feelings. How to Identify: If you feel the need to hide your true emotions, resist intimacy, or pretend to be someone you’re not, it’s a sign that your ego is trying to protect itself from perceived threats to its image.
Conclusion
We at Mentoring Minds Counsellors understand that the EGO is not something to be eradicated or ignored but understood and managed. By identifying the triggers that set off your ego, you can begin to approach situations with greater awareness and emotional maturity. Over time, this leads to healthier relationships, greater inner peace, and a deeper sense of authenticity. When you recognize your ego for what it is a collection of learned patterns and beliefs you can let go of its control and allow your true self to emerge.
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